42.Reign of Chaos

Now [i]this[i] is some good fucking food. Intrigue! You’ve made the Isle of Faces properly sinister through Gerold’s eyes. Looking forward to the White Bull and the Pale Bastard teaming up when Rhaella realizes she’s being duped by something beyond her control. Wonder if Jon’s white walker powers will come in handy.

Very much looking forward to more. Notes:

His mind spun through the names of the courtiers, finding none untrustworthy.

Should be “none trustworthy.”

Three sets of footsteps drew near, one heavy and swaggering, stopping by his side.

Only two sets of footsteps were described, not three.

“Doncha get tired wearing all that steel all day, Ser Grey?” came the extremely disrespectful voice. Ser Grey of Duston Hill was his agreed-upon name, the escort of Ella Waters (Princess Rhaella).

Princess Rhaella doesn’t need stating in parentheses, or at all. We know who Ella Waters is.

His true skill lay with the sword. As did his love. It was hard to get truly skilled at something you don’t like. It was that pursuit that had driven him to take the white, though at times, Gerold regretted it.

“It was hard to become truly skilled at something you didn’t like.” Flows better.

Some say Aegon perished in the Narrow Sea, and even Rhaella claimed she had seen him swallowed by the waves in a dream. In the same breath, they said it was time for a new man to sit on the Iron Throne.

“Some said…”